Blessings!!

So, I'm doing this thing where every night before I go to bed, I write down at least one good thing that happened to me that day. Right now, I'm going to do a slight variation of that. Or maybe not really, but somehow in my mind, these two things are connected. This is a list of all the ways God has blessed me that I can think of in 60 seconds. (merely in the order I think of them)

1. That I can get a college education
2. Abby and Kayley
3. Navs
4. Ann and Daniel
5. My cousins and parents
6. My love of reading
7. My church family back home
8. All my friends
9. Some of my quirks
10. My love of music
11. My ability to write well

I think this is a pretty good list. Certainly not comprehensive, nowhere near in fact, but a good list nonetheless. Anyway, I know this is TOTALLY random, and I know I just posted a few minutes before this, but I wanted to do this anyway. I was still being a little sorry for myself, so I figured, let's do something about it! 

Anyway, have a great week! Love you!

Becca

Homesick, pure and simple

Hey yall!

So I'm feeling a little homesick lately, which is absolutely silly, because I was home just a couple weeks ago. But the feeling is there nonetheless. I don't know. I think there's something about being at home, with people I love who love me, being able to stay in the same building to get all three meals every day, being able to be in my own room by myself, without anyone else, and not feeling weird about things like going to the sink and rinsing a dish because I don't know who I might pass on the way, that I really just love. I think part of me is terrified of growing up, and being responsible for myself. I miss the way things used to be. But there are seasons in our lives, and my season is no longer living at home with my parents and siblings, staying in high school with the same people, most of whom I've known since middle school. That season has past. This new season terrifies me, but I think it'll be wonderful. I'm just sad that the old is gone. The old season had a lot of great moments. I look back on it with such joy, despite all the difficult things that happened then. And I know this new season will also be great, and one day I'll look back on this time in my life with the same, or possibly even greater joy than my season at home. But it would be nice if this season could be accompanied by a hot shower every now and then, although apparently hot water is no longer a part of dorm life.

But last night at FRESH, something we talked about briefly was the way sometimes God comes to cleanse us in some way, but we don't want Him to. And I was thinking, maybe this is something God wants to use, maybe to comfort me, or show me His love. But part of me just wants to nurse my pain, take it and move on in life. But I know God doesn't want me to be in pain. And I think I need to give this to Him, to let Him comfort me, and bring me joy and peace. But it can be very hard. I don't like releasing my pain. I don't know why that is, but I've never liked letting go. Although truthfully, I've never liked letting go of anything.

But yeah, I guess that's it. I know this is a little random and out of the blue, and it may not even make sense. I'm a little too tired to accurately proof-read my writing, especially not for sense. Anyway, see you soon! (Metaphorically, of course!)

Love you!
Becca

Family History

Hey y'all!

So for my English class, we're writing a historical analysis paper on any moment in history from 1915 until 1995, and it doesn't matter what, but we need to use just primary sources. That's the whole point of this paper.

Well, my dad has some old notes and things that his dad (my grandfather) wrote about his life, so I picked a moment that I could use my grandfather's notes for. So my dad photocopied some of my grandfather's notes that pertain particularly well to my subject and sent them to me. Last night I got a chance to read them.

It's kind of silly, but I didn't really know my grandfather while he was alive. He had a "funny accent" and lived really far away, and I was in elementary school when he passed away. But this assignment has given me a chance to really get to know him in a very different kind of way. I think it's amazing the way I can get to know him as he remembers himself as a young man coming to America. And it kind of makes me sad, to know that I didn't really get a chance to know him before he passed away, but I'm also really glad that I have a way to know him now. I feel really blessed in that way. It's kind of nice, to know that this man contributed to who I am, and now I get to know who he is.

Feeling Valued and Vulnerable

Hey yall!!

So it's Tuesday, which means I went to FRESH earlier. I don't know if I've said this before on here, but this is a truly wonderful group of women I spend time with once a week, and it just makes my heart sing when I get to spend time with them. I haven't yet found another time that I feel God as strongly as when I'm with them and Him at FRESH on Tuesday nights, except maybe Thursday night Nav Nights, which are also wonderful. But the intimacy of FRESH is just so wonderful. It's one of the few places I really feel like I belong on campus, and where I can be completely honest and open. And I feel like I have friends there.

Tonight, one of the many things we talked about was whether we feel like we're valued. I don't really think about that very often. It's just not something that often crosses my mind. I mean, yes, I have a lot of insecurities about other people, but I don't really consider whether or not I'm valued. And in my head, I know God values and loves me, but I don't know that I really consider that, and live my life really knowing that, and feeling like that's true. And Kayley suggested to me that I maybe take some time to pray about that, maybe use Quiet Time to think and pray about that. I'm going to, for sure.

But some of the girls at FRESH really don't feel valued. And that they were willing to share that so openly really touched my heart. They were all really vulnerable about how they felt, and it just made me love them more. God has really been teaching me a lot about myself recently, and one thing I've come to see pretty clearly is how God has given me a heart for the broken-hearted people of this world. And seeing these women showing where they are weak, and hurting... I just love it.

Also, one last little thing. A couple summers ago, during a mission trip, a kid in my youth group was drawing this... sort of dark drawing, of a kid who was hurting himself. I told him that he should make it happier, so he drew next to the kid another with a cross necklace, The kid with the cross has his hands out to the other, reaching to help him. The kid who drew the picture gave it to me, and now it hangs in my dorm, on the wall right above my desk. That picture is so encouraging to me. It reminds me to be the one whose hands reach out to others. And it reminds me of the kid who drew it. I love that kid, and that makes me so happy.

So yeah. I hope everyone has a great week!!!
Love, Becca

Happy 2015!!!

Hey yall!! I assume that by now everyone is back in the swing of things, as the holidays have come to a close. I had a really great holiday season, but now I'm glad to be back at school, back with the friends I've made, and the classes I'm beginning to enjoy. :)

So last night, I was at my Navs Freshman Bible Study (from now on, called FRESH). It was really great to be back with everyone, talking to people, and enjoying everyone's company. That was quite a blessing. Also, during Bible study, a lot of us were pretty vulnerable about some things going on in our own lives, which was awesome. Vulnerability is a really tough thing, but it's also something that I've found that I really need, and it makes me really glad that I have these people who I can be vulnerable with, who are vulnerable with me.

One other thing, I got a new roommate. She's really sweet, and I really like her. I feel like I can talk to her, which is something I didn't have last semester. She's been such a blessing to me. And more than that, I think God put her with me so that I can be a blessing to her. She's hurting, and I know I need to be there for her. So if you could pray that God would work through me in her life, I would really appreciate it. Because I know I can't be a blessing to her without God. I really REALLY need Him to come help me, and work through me.

Anyway, have a great day!!!