Homesick, pure and simple

Hey yall!

So I'm feeling a little homesick lately, which is absolutely silly, because I was home just a couple weeks ago. But the feeling is there nonetheless. I don't know. I think there's something about being at home, with people I love who love me, being able to stay in the same building to get all three meals every day, being able to be in my own room by myself, without anyone else, and not feeling weird about things like going to the sink and rinsing a dish because I don't know who I might pass on the way, that I really just love. I think part of me is terrified of growing up, and being responsible for myself. I miss the way things used to be. But there are seasons in our lives, and my season is no longer living at home with my parents and siblings, staying in high school with the same people, most of whom I've known since middle school. That season has past. This new season terrifies me, but I think it'll be wonderful. I'm just sad that the old is gone. The old season had a lot of great moments. I look back on it with such joy, despite all the difficult things that happened then. And I know this new season will also be great, and one day I'll look back on this time in my life with the same, or possibly even greater joy than my season at home. But it would be nice if this season could be accompanied by a hot shower every now and then, although apparently hot water is no longer a part of dorm life.

But last night at FRESH, something we talked about briefly was the way sometimes God comes to cleanse us in some way, but we don't want Him to. And I was thinking, maybe this is something God wants to use, maybe to comfort me, or show me His love. But part of me just wants to nurse my pain, take it and move on in life. But I know God doesn't want me to be in pain. And I think I need to give this to Him, to let Him comfort me, and bring me joy and peace. But it can be very hard. I don't like releasing my pain. I don't know why that is, but I've never liked letting go. Although truthfully, I've never liked letting go of anything.

But yeah, I guess that's it. I know this is a little random and out of the blue, and it may not even make sense. I'm a little too tired to accurately proof-read my writing, especially not for sense. Anyway, see you soon! (Metaphorically, of course!)

Love you!
Becca