Fall Conference!!! OH YEAH!

So earlier today I got back from Fall Conference, which is the Blue Ridge Navs annual conference. It was really amazing to get to see several of my friends from STP, It was just such an encouragement to my heart. And while it was definitely draining driving there and back, and never getting to be alone, and being with over a couple hundred other humans, I still loved every minute.
It was definitely a reminder to me of how much I miss my STP friends and the STP life. I got to see three of my closest female friends from the summer (other than my actual team), and that was SO much fun! I loved getting to see Barbara, Annie, and Mikaila! They just encourage me so much, and really just lift my spirits and love me so well. It made me so happy to get to spend time with them and catch up on their lives.
Also, I went to a workshop on discipleship, which was super cool. I listened to a speaker tell me about how to disciple someone, how to find someone to disciple, how to "do life with them," (which is a very Christian-ese thing to say, but I don't know how to say it better). And he reminded us that we should really only disciple those who are hungry for the Gospel, because they're the ones who will "reproduce reproducers," to quote the Navs founder Dawson Trotman. The speaker also said, "No matter how much you want to, even for their sake, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do," which is something that really both encouraged and discouraged me simultaneously about the people I have the potential to disciple. It's encouraging because it no longer puts pressure on me to change their hearts; that's God's job, not mine. It also discouraged me, because I think some of the people I might want to disciple the most really aren't hungry for the Gospel. But I think it's okay, because God will draw them to Himself in His own time, and in His own ways, and all I can do is pray for them.
It was a great, exhausting, fantastic, God-filled Fall Conference!!! :)

Preaching Yourself the Gospel

Just as almost every other Thursday night post reminds you, tonight we had Nav Night. And it was SO GOOD! Trey, one of the EDGErs, talked about Ephesians 3:1-13. And he did SUCH a good job! He basically just reminded each and every one of us of the truth of the Gospel, the good news of Christ. I really hope they recorded it, because it was SO GOOD! Anyway, as he was speaking, I just started crying like you wouldn't believe. I didn't really know why at first, and then I realized: I was crying because I knew/know that it's all true! It was really cool to hear Trey preach the simple reality of the Gospel, the beauty of the Gospel, the excitement of the Gospel to us tonight. It was a reminder that I don't really think about it often enough. At STP this summer, someone (I don't remember who, and it was probably multiple people) said "You should preach the Gospel to yourself every single day." Or something like that. But you get the idea. And tonight was such a poignant reminder of how little I truly consider the Gospel, and how infrequently I remember the way Christ died for my sins on that horrible, yet so beautiful cross. So after tonight, I hope to remember to preach myself the Gospel more and more frequently, because let's be real here: I desperately need it.

Sometimes it's Hard Facing Reality

Hey there internet!!! So life happened today! I had some Abby time today, and it was tough, but it was good too. I had some reality to face, which can get real uncomfortable. And today it was.

Today we talked about some of my pride issues, and the anger and bitterness and annoyance and impatience that stem from it. It sucks, because I'm kind of uncomfortable with myself now. Part of me just wants to hide away from everyone else for the rest of my life now, because I don't want it to be an issue that pervades my friendships. But that's not realistic. I just don't want people to see that part of my heart. But I know people do. I don't know, I'm just not comfortable with myself anymore. Which is both good and bad. It's bad because it means I have a problem that God and I need to deal with. It's good, because that means that my new self, the new nature that God implanted in me, is rejecting that part of myself, the sinful nature that once resided in me, and pervaded my entire being. But anyway, it really sucks to realize just how messed up I am, and to realize that people really see it. Part of me, sitting here at a table in the library really wants to just break down and cry. But I can't, and I know that. It was a good day, for sure. But at the same time, it kind of sucked. But I definitely saw God working in my heart today, really revealing my sin to me where I had blinded myself previously. Pride is a huge issue in my life, I've always known that, but today I was reminded again of how real and active it still is in my life.

My Beautiful Ladies!

So tonight, I went and hung out with some Nav people, just to chill. I think there may have been an NFL game on that everyone was pretty invested in. I don't know, I was just there to hang out with people, while also doing homework. And afterwards, me and the two girls I drove back to campus just sort of hung out. I shared some very personal embarrassing stories, told them about my latest crush, and listened to them tell me about their home lives. And we shared some Insomnia cookies. It was a blast just to hang out and get to know them. I think sometimes God builds godly relationships not by sitting together at Nav Nights or being in the same Bible studies, but by putting us together in the same car on the way to a hang out and giving us a mutual love of warm cookies. And I'm so very thankful that He did.

The Inspiration of FRESH

So tonight, near the end of Bible study, Abby asked everyone to share one thing they wanted to remember/take away from tonight. And one of the girls said something along the lines of "I want to be like John the Baptist. He was just always pointing to God. And I want to be like that, devoting all my time to God, but right now it's hard because of college and everything. But I want it to be, whenever anyone sees me, they know, 'that girl knows God.'" And that was really cool. Now the college getting in the way part, I had something to say to that (in the most loving way possible) and I'll probably address that eventually. But what she said at the end, "whenever anyone sees me, they know 'that girl knows God.'" That's something I'm striving for. There's this C.S. Lewis-attributed quote that says "A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her." It's a similar concept. I mean, I think that Lewis quote is about romance etc. but it still applies. That's my goal. I want to be a woman who's heart is so close to God that people have to seek Him to find me. I want people to see me and just know that I know God. It was so cool that that beautiful freshman girl said that! God speaks in all kinds of ways.