I know, I know, I have something new to say about what happened the other day with the friend of a friend of mine. I should seriously consider turning it into a hashtag. Hahahaha not really.
Anyway, when I texted that person the first time, they didn't respond. I have no idea what they thought of what I said. All I know is how awful I feel about what they said to me. I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. Well, this afternoon, I texted them again, because I saw God in that, and I wanted them to know it. I said Thank you, because that helped me see God. And again, they haven't responded. Not that I expected them to. But they didn't. I was having some serious trouble forgiving them for what they said to me. Not only was it overly harsh, incredibly exaggerated, and just downright mean, but they didn't even have enough respect for me to say it to my face. Or else they didn't have enough courage. But anyway, when I sent that second text, I felt okay about all of it. I wasn't mad about it anymore. But now I still am about to cry over it. Is that bad? Can I have forgiven this person, and yet still be hurt by what they said? I don't know. But it's something to think about, and a reason to Seek God.
Sorry, there wasn't really exactly an SGM, but I needed to post this.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Addition To Yesterday
So last night, I posted about that friend of a friend who was incredibly mean to me over a text message, and how that morning I had prayed about being peaceful. Well, during the time that I was distraught, I went driving all over the mountain. While I was in the car, I had the radio on, and literally every song was comforting to me. From How He Loves, which was playing when I got in the car, to every other song that they played, I could hear God talking to me, giving me comfort and love. It was really awesome.
Monday, January 27, 2014
"Get Nicer or Stay Away"
Today was a little rough.
Well, a little is kind of an understatement. I spent the first half in a horrible mood, the third quarter not realizing that I had offended my best friend, and the last quarter almost entirely in tears, with about an hour and a half of reprieve because I was in public. But that whole time I was near tears.
The worst part of today was this afternoon. I got an incredibly harsh text from the friend of a friend of mine. We used to be friends, but that kind of ended. Anyway, he texted me basically telling me that I'm a horrible person, and a consistent hypocrite, and that I don't know what "nice" even means, let alone how to act like it. That really really hurt. It sounds silly, but it made me cry for a couple hours pretty much non-stop. He told me that I'm nothing but mean to him, and our mutual friend, and that I'm horrible for our mutual friend, and my options are "get nicer, if that's even possible, or stay away." (That's a paraphrase, not a direct quote.) I was heartbroken. I didn't know what to do. But then out of the blue, it hit me: pray about it. There's this song we sang at VBS this past summer that goes "Don't worry about anything. Instead pray about everything." So I sat down to write a prayer (that's kind of a thing I do) when I saw a prayer I had written down earlier this morning for that person who was really mean to me. I prayed that God would bless him, and that I could show him love, and be at peace with him.
Well, after he sent this horrible text, I prayed, and asked God for comfort, and wisdom. And then I replied. And after that, (because its my way of releasing emotional pressure,) I wrote both him and our mutual friend a letter. In the text and in both letters, I can honestly say that I was completely loving to both of them. I didn't say a single thing out of spite or anger. It was honestly love. It was amazing.
But anyway, now I am feeling a little upset by it, and I don't think I'll be able to keep up my non-aggressive, completely loving replies up tomorrow. I can already hear some of my sassy remarks that might come out. But I don't want them to. So if you could pray for me, that I could be completely loving, I would appreciate it.
Well, a little is kind of an understatement. I spent the first half in a horrible mood, the third quarter not realizing that I had offended my best friend, and the last quarter almost entirely in tears, with about an hour and a half of reprieve because I was in public. But that whole time I was near tears.
The worst part of today was this afternoon. I got an incredibly harsh text from the friend of a friend of mine. We used to be friends, but that kind of ended. Anyway, he texted me basically telling me that I'm a horrible person, and a consistent hypocrite, and that I don't know what "nice" even means, let alone how to act like it. That really really hurt. It sounds silly, but it made me cry for a couple hours pretty much non-stop. He told me that I'm nothing but mean to him, and our mutual friend, and that I'm horrible for our mutual friend, and my options are "get nicer, if that's even possible, or stay away." (That's a paraphrase, not a direct quote.) I was heartbroken. I didn't know what to do. But then out of the blue, it hit me: pray about it. There's this song we sang at VBS this past summer that goes "Don't worry about anything. Instead pray about everything." So I sat down to write a prayer (that's kind of a thing I do) when I saw a prayer I had written down earlier this morning for that person who was really mean to me. I prayed that God would bless him, and that I could show him love, and be at peace with him.
Well, after he sent this horrible text, I prayed, and asked God for comfort, and wisdom. And then I replied. And after that, (because its my way of releasing emotional pressure,) I wrote both him and our mutual friend a letter. In the text and in both letters, I can honestly say that I was completely loving to both of them. I didn't say a single thing out of spite or anger. It was honestly love. It was amazing.
But anyway, now I am feeling a little upset by it, and I don't think I'll be able to keep up my non-aggressive, completely loving replies up tomorrow. I can already hear some of my sassy remarks that might come out. But I don't want them to. So if you could pray for me, that I could be completely loving, I would appreciate it.
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