So hey there. I have some thoughts on dating. I'm 19 years old, and I have never been on a date before. For a long long time, that really bothered me. But this week, I talked to a girl a couple years older than me. We actually were talking about dating/marriage on the car trip up to Chicago. Her name is Ashley. She said something along the lines of "The thing about break-ups is that they leave scars that never go completely away. And every break up's scar will have an effect on your marriage. So not dating many people is really a good thing." That was really encouraging to me. I'm really glad she said that, because, never having had a boyfriend, and having a lot of friends who have dated, some who have dated a lot, has been an incredibly discouraging feeling. In my experience, having a boyfriend is a mark of status among girls, and never having had one has definitely made me feel like a girl of lower status than even my best friends. But really, now that I'm where I am, I'm happy for it.
I also have some thoughts about marriage. My buddy Paul said to me "Have you ever noticed how the only people to say 'Not everyone is called to marriage' are the people who are already married?" And here's my thought. I listened to a Tim Keller Q&A thing with his wife about Singleness, and Kathy, his wife talked about her desire to be married for many years before she met Tim. She said that she only found Tim when she finally gave her desire for marriage to the Lord. And I've been thinking a lot about that, especially lately because I'm at an age where a lot of girls I knew in high school are getting engaged, married, and/or having kids. Also, I kind of think I know what kind of man I want to marry. But here's my thought on what Mrs. Keller said. I've tried to "give it to God," but I never could figure out how to "give it" to Him. The way that's phrased makes it sound like your desire for marriage goes away. But that's not the way this works. I've also been struggling with surrendering things to the Lord. Things like, my future and my desire for marriage. Surrendering is different than giving, though. To me, giving means it goes away from me, that I no longer have it, but surrendering means putting whatever it is under a different authority than my own. I can't "give" God my desires. Nothing I do has been able to rid me of them, and I don't necessarily think that God wants me to be rid of them. I think He gives us certain desires. But surrendering my desire for marriage is very different. It's saying that God is in control of my desire. He tells me how to use it, how to follow it. He determines how it's fulfilled. Which is I think a very important thing. So that's what's up with that.
Lastly, on the car trip up to Chicago, we discussed our love languages. Everyone in my car's primary love language is quality time, including me. But I noticed this week that often, it depends on circumstances. With my friends, I feel loved through quality time. But I show love through words of affirmation, acts of service and gifts.And I noticed this week with the little girl I worked with at the after-school program that when she did well, I was inclined to brush back her hair and pat her shoulder, etc. to show her love. So I've decided that it's much more simple than a simple quiz can tell me. And I've never had a boyfriend, so I don't really know my romantic love language. I think I'll have to find out. Although, ideally my first boyfriend will also one day be my husband. That's the dream. So yeah. Those are my thoughts on dating, marriage, and love languages. :)
Also, I'm 19 years old now, so that's kinda crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment